Denver Part 1: Yum Yum

It is an unfortunate trend that whenever I take personal responsibility to maneuver my way around Denver something goes horribly wrong. In the past year there are three different incidents that are quite entertaining but far to long to write all three at once.
For spring break last year I wanted to go back to Glenwood, as many people know my saab aside from being a metal box of death sometimes works and sometimes is a piece of shit. At this particular time in my life it was sitting in the driveway missing it's battery. So I was going to take a bus.

In theory this was simple, hop the bx to denver then catch the greyhound to Glenwood about an hour later.
False.
The trip started off wrong, as I was standing at the crosswalk to go to the bus station (It was beginning to be a pretty bad snow storm) I got splashed by a car. You know when in movies the sad sad person is standing in the rain and the gross water goes everywhere... yeah that happened. So I get on the bus. Lots of people get on the bus. It was pretty much totally full. About 20 minutes into the ride, the bus stopped. Remember the nasty snow storm I mentioned right up there ^ yeah it was really bad.
One hour passes
Two hours pass now the likelihood of my catching the second bus was getting slimmer I call mom.
Me: I'm going to miss the next bus
Mom: Shit, okay uh we'll figure it out
Three hours pass when I hear something from behind me. The something sounded like "Yum Yum"
From behind me: Yum Yum
Remember all the seats are full....
"Yum Yum..... SUCK MY BALLS"
The creepy Yum Yum noises from behind me were now escalating to suck my balls and I was pretty sure there was no oral sex or anything going on behind me. So I looked. Just as I expected homeless man.
Homeless Man: YUM YUM SUCK MY BALLS
This was it, I was going to die. Yum Yum behind me was about to make me suck his balls then murder me. I was terrified.
Three more hours passed, the yum yum still going behind me. Now I was going to be murdered and if not I was going to be stranded in Denver with no place to stay. Luckily mommy came to the rescue and it turned out yum yum was really into the dude sitting beside me.
For most people when they get stranded in a city they stay at a La Quinta or something but not in my family. The Sullivans have a strange addiction to nice hotels. Therefore I ended up at the Hyatt. This room was the amazing. California King Feather Top bed, Room Service, Huge Ass TV. All that was missing were strippers and coke or something like that. In the Morning I got the best buffet known to man. Luckily most of my escapades in Denver end up happy, this is one of them, slumbering in the most comfortable bed ever watching sit-coms. Ah the good life.