My Dog is Smarter than I am

My dog Grace had an ear infection. That will happen when you dive after sticks in a dirty lake all day (not like thats from experience or anything). So we got her puppy ear drops, all organic, perfect for a little princess like Grace. As you can tell, Grace is quite pampered for a normal sized dog, most little dogs get pampered but real sized dogs rarely do. So it came time to put in her little ear drops... easier said than done. She totally knew what was about to happen. She saw the little dropper and ran like hell. As my mother and I beckoned to her to come and get her ear drops she peered around the corner of the kitchen with a suspicious look in her eye as if to say *fuck you I know your about to torture me with that little droppy thingy* Unfortunately for her she is obedient and came despite her knowledge. She then sat 5 feet away from us and made me drag her the next few feet to be situated in my iron grip so she couldn't escape the evil ear dropper. The struggle began, Grace pulling away, me pulling her back my mom putting the expensive drops in her fur and REPEAT. 

Eventually we succeeded but Grace needed to prove how horrendous the torture really was so for the remainder of the evening she would stop every ten minutes shake her head vigorously just to prove how uncomfortable these devil drops were. 

Her tactic of coming when called but sitting far away worked yet again when I went to leave to come back to Boulder. When the first bag went in the car... she knew and went to sulk in the basement. Grace doesn't like the basement, she used to have to stay there so she wouldn't chew up the couch. However the basement was going to be the best option to show her disproval. After the last bag went out I went back inside to say my tearful (on my side) goodbye. To make me work for my time with her, she made me call her 4 times before coming up to the top stair and sitting looking at me with the saddest look. I pulled her towards me, she didn't help, so I basically scooted her across the hardwood floor. After a long hug she turned around, tucked her sad little tail between her legs and went back to the basement while I drove away. Basically I'm saying that my dog owns me and I do what she wants. 

The Worst Hair Cut EVER

It has been quite some time since I have written and for that I am sorry (especially to miss Jenny Wilson) but something of great proportions has happened to jolt me back into my blogging. Some platinum blonde with bubble gum ruined my whole perception of myself. Now for most boys, I realize that a horrendous haircut doesn't really ruin lives, I mean it's not like Im living in a box under the bridge or anything but it's still pretty bad. I also realize that when you are only paying $20 for a haircut, you can't expect anything breathtaking but I do assume that everyone who has ever been to a salon realized what a trim looks like.

It all started with a beautiful summer day, and getting prepared for school with haircuts and a mani-pedi. I finally get called up to the seat. She chomped her gum at me.
"My name is Courtney" chomp chomp
My first hint should have been the bleached blonde hair and bubble gum, but I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt, because bubble gum is delicious, and not everyone can have super great red hair.
"I'd just like a trim please, only like two inches." I asked politely
"oh honey how long ago was it since you got your hair cut" chomp chomp "I gotta take off at least 3 inches"
"okay" I said, she did go to school for this so I imagine she knows a little bit and three inches I can handle, my hair is pretty long.
twenty minutes later I was spun around to a shocking discovery.
Apparently Courtney couldn't measure.
Chomp "So it's going to take a little getting used to" Chomp
gurgle... uhhhhh.... is all I could manage.
"But it's really healthy" she said
"Ya" I said
what I really wanted to say is "Seriously have you ever seen a ruler, this is at least 6 inches, and I didn't really care if it was super healthy, it's freakin dead cells and I just wanted it to look pretty and long".

Somehow I managed to get it together. I walked out, managed to somewhat tip her, and made it home. Where I broke down. Basically the moral of this story is I hope I don't see Courtney in the next week, my foot might kick her on its own accord. Also if you see me and say my hair looks short I might cry. Finally, I think I'll survive only after much therapy and my hair growing out.