Denver Part 1: Yum Yum

It is an unfortunate trend that whenever I take personal responsibility to maneuver my way around Denver something goes horribly wrong. In the past year there are three different incidents that are quite entertaining but far to long to write all three at once.
For spring break last year I wanted to go back to Glenwood, as many people know my saab aside from being a metal box of death sometimes works and sometimes is a piece of shit. At this particular time in my life it was sitting in the driveway missing it's battery. So I was going to take a bus.

In theory this was simple, hop the bx to denver then catch the greyhound to Glenwood about an hour later.
False.
The trip started off wrong, as I was standing at the crosswalk to go to the bus station (It was beginning to be a pretty bad snow storm) I got splashed by a car. You know when in movies the sad sad person is standing in the rain and the gross water goes everywhere... yeah that happened. So I get on the bus. Lots of people get on the bus. It was pretty much totally full. About 20 minutes into the ride, the bus stopped. Remember the nasty snow storm I mentioned right up there ^ yeah it was really bad.
One hour passes
Two hours pass now the likelihood of my catching the second bus was getting slimmer I call mom.
Me: I'm going to miss the next bus
Mom: Shit, okay uh we'll figure it out
Three hours pass when I hear something from behind me. The something sounded like "Yum Yum"
From behind me: Yum Yum
Remember all the seats are full....
"Yum Yum..... SUCK MY BALLS"
The creepy Yum Yum noises from behind me were now escalating to suck my balls and I was pretty sure there was no oral sex or anything going on behind me. So I looked. Just as I expected homeless man.
Homeless Man: YUM YUM SUCK MY BALLS
This was it, I was going to die. Yum Yum behind me was about to make me suck his balls then murder me. I was terrified.
Three more hours passed, the yum yum still going behind me. Now I was going to be murdered and if not I was going to be stranded in Denver with no place to stay. Luckily mommy came to the rescue and it turned out yum yum was really into the dude sitting beside me.
For most people when they get stranded in a city they stay at a La Quinta or something but not in my family. The Sullivans have a strange addiction to nice hotels. Therefore I ended up at the Hyatt. This room was the amazing. California King Feather Top bed, Room Service, Huge Ass TV. All that was missing were strippers and coke or something like that. In the Morning I got the best buffet known to man. Luckily most of my escapades in Denver end up happy, this is one of them, slumbering in the most comfortable bed ever watching sit-coms. Ah the good life.

Bumble Bees

So since I just made this blog I'm a little obsessed, also I want to share with the internet how truly terrifying bee's are. For most people bee stings are simply a little painful annoyance. Unfortunately for me they turn me into a swollen creature that looks something like a woodland creature but is actually really gross.
It began on a wednesday afternoon, I know it was a wednesday afternoon because A) it was very traumatic B)It was the farmers market. So there I am at the salsa stand when a damn bee buzzes up and latches onto my eyelashes. I flail and swat at my face managing to only get stung once right under my right eye. I know I'm allergic to bees but I was trying to be optimistic and was like:
"maybe this will only swell up a little" to my roommates who were like "Uh yeah.
Jilian, one of my roommates was like "Hey I need to make a hair appointment can we stop before we go home"
I was like "sure", trying to be optimistic that my face would stop swelling by this point it was just slightly swollen, I could still keep my eyes open and I didn't look like a mutant yet. So we stop by the salon and Jilian runs in, during the course of about ten minutes I guess my eye went from slightly swollen to HOLY SHIT.
Megan (on the phone to Jilian): "uh dude we have to go home, Siobhan can't see out of her eye anymore, it's like swollen shut"
I do know that they love me but this was to much, my pain and swelling was turning into the funniest thing they had witnessed. Trying to not laugh we made it home where I popped Benadryl   after Benadryl to no success
It was time to call mom
Me: mom, I got stung by a bee and my face is swelling up badly
Mom: How bad?
Me: Get on Skype
Mom (now looking on skype): Holy Shit
My logic was that I would sleep and it would be better, my optimism overcoming my fear.
It didn't work
The next day, my glorious roommates invite the boys from upstairs so they could come see the puffed up version of my face.
Roommates: You have to see Siobhan's face.
Me: You guys are ass holes. Then I hid in my room.
Also that night I made waffles.
So the next day I had a class that I had been really lazy about so I could no longer miss. So I put on a hat and tried to hide my face the best I could...
It didn't work
I got stared at, I looked like a creature from the black lagoon. Luckily for one of my friends my deformation helped her. In comparison to me and my balloon face, she looked hot. The guy she like stopped by and was like AH! creature from the black lagoon... Damn Kaelee you are far hotter than your usual smokin self. After a few days of optimism I gave up and went to the hospital.
Doctor: Wow. You almost need an epi-pen. You should have come in right away.

My optimism almost killed me. So you know what it looked like, here... notice the optimistic deformed smile. Moral of the story, if the swelling spreads through your nose and into your mouth... go to the hospital.

Then I Made a Blog

So last night after some hula hooping and day drinking (which kind of go hand in hand) there were a few of us hanging out and drinking. This is fairly natural since my life legitimately consists of drinking and what amount of school I can fit in. Anyway, my friend Laura (she is fun) was like:
 "Siobhan if we could write about our stories they would be the funniest thing ever."
Then my friend Austin was like:
"Siobhan and my stories would be even funnier." or something like that because I'm not sure because like I said I started drinking at 5. So then in my mind I was like wow I do crazy funny things I should write them down because I have a really bad memory.  So after Austin, Nima and Kristin got in a tussle (Kristin came out with a bloody lip) we went to Del Taco then I literally sprinted home.

Then today I was sitting in the bowling alley where I work and not doing my geology homework or my job I was like:
Hey Siobhan what about that argument over who has funnier crazier stories with you.
So I started a blog.
I promise to try to keep it funny, I think that is an achievable goal. The highlight of my day was wearing a tie dyed buffalo shirt. It's not mine it's Kristin's but wearing other peoples clothes is more fun than wearing your own shirt.

 There was a singing duck in our fridge. A roommate put it in there. Don't worry we took it out.

This was when I was drunk... in case I found the cat. I would want it to go back to it's appropriate owner. 

Also I should explain the name, I think that tequila is kind of self explanatory. I'd wake up and drink tequila if it wasn't frowned upon socially. However Teddy aka Theodore is my bear. He's not real don't worry but as a child he might as well have been. He is no ordinary bear though when my parents would make him "talk" he had a very foul mouth. He was also very anxious, road trips were hard for him because driving scared him (or my mother). Anyway he is awesome and he still lives with me even though I'm considered an adult. So my foul mouthed mangy bear is in the title of my blog. I hope this lives up to everyones expectations.

UPDATE: I did not steal this cat... my sister asked me if I did and no I'm not a cat bandit.